Ontario

In the personal journey of discovering his name, Ontario was inspired by a song and holds significant meaning in the trans community. He talks about the importance of names in one's identity and a supportive community, like kin•dom, where one can experiment with names without judgment.

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Transcript

music  0:00  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”]

Narrator  0:09  
Thank you for tuning into kin•dom campfire chats, a podcast of kin•dom community. This podcast features the voices of LGBTQIA+ persons, both youth participants and adult staff, who attended kin•dom camp in Texas in the summer of 2024. We asked the camp participants to think of a question that they wished someone would ask them about their life journey. With a friend, and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found. We invite you to listen with an open mind and an open heart. 

music  0:46  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "This is the place”] 

speaker 1  0:46  
How did you pick your name, and what does it mean to you? 

speaker 2  0:58  
So I picked my name pretty interestingly. I mean, it's not like the most interesting story, but I think it's kind of funny. So Ontario is the name of my favorite song by Novo Amore and Ed Tollett. If you're listening to it, listen to the instrumental version. That's the only one I listen to. And it just, like, really connected with me, like, on like, on like, a level that, like, I can't really describe. It just meant a lot to me. And I never, like, it never clicked in my head, like, oh, I want this to my name. I was almost, I think I've told you this. I was almost Jeffrey. That was almost my name. But I was gonna spell it, Geo, so I was gonna be Geoffrey.

speaker 2  1:38  
So I then, one day, went to Build-a-Bear workshop with one of my ex-best friends, and I named my Build-a-Bear Ontario, and I decided that I really liked that on my Build-a-Bear's birth certificate. And I was like, hey, that's gonna be my name, and now it is. 

speaker 1  2:00  
I think that's so beautiful. And it really shows that music and the arts can be such a healing, spiritual experience for trans people. And I think it really shows the importance of names in the trans community, and they can come from so many different places, and yours was through music! That's so beautiful. 

speaker 2  2:17  
Yeah, I think obviously, and maybe not even obviously, I think names are like, so central to the trans experience, because before people, like, know anything about you, they know your name. That's the, like, very first way you present yourself, because you go, "Hi, nice to meet you. I'm-look," and that's just like, such an integral part of your identity, like having a name, like, I am Ontario, that's me, and like, nothing can replace that. 

speaker 1  2:47  
I think it's so beautiful that that's who you are and that you were able to find yourself through that healing journey. I think that's wonderful. 

speaker 2  2:57  
And I always love it when trans people have, like, funny stories. But I also think it's really important to note that, like, finding your name, like, that's such a personal experience because it's your name. So maybe you know if, like, you have like, a quote-unquote, lame story of how you got your name, or maybe it's just, like a basic name, I don't think that really exists. I think everybody's name is so personal. And no matter how you find a name, if it's yours, it's yours. And like, rock it, like it's you. 

speaker 1  3:31  
Exactly like a name can be a part of your soul, and especially for trans people, who the majority of us choose our names, we're able to find that part of our soul, and we're able to put it on us,

speaker 2  3:43  
Right.

speaker 1  3:43  
and allow other people to open the window of who we are. 

speaker 2  3:47  
And that's one of the things that I just really love about kin•dom, is that you get to try on names. Like I feel like, for a lot of people who are maybe like new to coming out or haven't really had this identity for very long, having names that like you just get a try for a day, a couple of hours like that can be so profound, because hearing someone say your name like that can, like, really make it or break it. So that's I really like that about kin•dom is that you can just, like, experiment, and there's no judgment. 

speaker 1  4:20  
Especially because kin•dom is kin•dom is where you can find queer friends. It's where you can find queer community, and knowing that you're surrounded by your friends, when you're being called this new name that you may have never experienced before, or you may have never heard in any sort of context outside of the context in which you found it that can be such a new thing, and that can be so that can be really deep for a lot of people. Getting to hear it from your friends, and not just trying it on a school where all of your schoolmates call it, but trying it in a place that is explicitly queer and explicitly made for us. 

speaker 2  4:58  
And I just think names, like, they're so important, like, my name is, like, it's so fundamental to who I am, and it makes other things in my life happen, like, on a very basic level, when I do things for school and I write Ontario, that's like, affirming me. 

music  5:27  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build”]   

Baylee  5:29  
Hi y'all, it's Baylee. I'm the Creative Director of kin•dom community. I’d like to talk a little bit more about kin•dom camp and how you can get involved. kin•dom camp is an opportunity for LGBTQIA+ youth ages 12 to 17 to feel safe and free to show up as their full selves. Campers will have the chance to experience traditional camp activities and recreation, plus some specialized programming to incorporate LGBTQIA+ history and culture. More information can be found on our website kindomcommunity.org/camp. If you have any questions you can't find the answers to, you can email us at kindomcamp@gmail.com. Thanks for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. We are proud to be a safe space for these campers, and we are even more proud of them for sharing their stories. We hope you'll keep gathering around the campfire with us as we celebrate all of the stories that make us this kin•dom community.