What Cis People Could Understand

Being trans doesn't solely define a person, and they wish for others to understand that being trans doesn't restrict as much as one might think. When there are restrictions, there is a struggle with body image and comfort, particularly in relation to clothing and swimming. They talk about how they have found ways to cope with dysphoria and thanked the people who have helped.

This episode was made possible thanks to our partnership with the Missing Voices Project. Based out of Flagler College, the Missing Voices Project believes that amplifying the voices of young people and their adult allies who live and serve in ministry at the intersections of disability, foster care & trauma, gender & sexuality, and racial reconciliation is necessary and holy work. We are grateful to Missing Voices Project for their support and for the bravery of these campers as they share about life at the intersection of queerness and disability. For more information about the Missing Voices Project, please visit www.missingvoices.org

Find out more about us by visiting our website, kindomcommunity.org. There you can find information about kin•dom camp and consider supporting our work with a one-time or recurring donation. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram @kindomcommunity to keep up with all the important information.

Transcript

music  0:00  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”] 

Narrator  0:09  
Thank you for tuning into kin•dom campfire chats, a podcast of kin•dom community. This podcast features the voices of LGBTQIA+ persons, both youth participants and adult staff, who attended kin•dom camp in Texas in the summer of 2024. We asked the camp participants to think of a question that they wished someone would ask them about their life journey. With a friend, and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found. We invite you to listen with an open mind and an open heart.

music  0:50  
 [Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "This is the place”]  

Narrator  0:56  
This episode was made possible thanks to our partnership with the Missing Voices Project who believes that amplifying the voices of young people and their adult allies who live and serve in ministry at the intersections of disability, foster care & trauma, gender & sexuality, and racial reconciliation is necessary and holy work. We are grateful for the bravery of these campers as they share about life at the intersection of queerness and disability.

speaker 1  1:27  
What is something you wish more cis people understood? 

speaker 2  1:31  
Well, it's kind of subjective, and every trans person, or even ally someone who knows someone who's trans, has a different opinion upon that, and they have certain things that may make them feel a way. But for me, there's a couple, like phrases or things that just make me feel like invalidated, or just like, "What the heck?" One of them, for me is in a female to male conversation, if I say, if someone says, "Oh, so you were born a girl?", it kind of upsets me a little bit, because I wasn't, I don't think I was born a girl. I don't feel like I was born a girl. I feel like I was just born, you know me. And I know that if I said, "No, I was born a boy", which is how I feel, they wouldn't understand that. So I can't I feel like I can't say that. 

Another thing is when some cis people or uneducated people think that they have to make everything, every idea of this trans person in their minds about them being trans, like, "Oh, you can't do this because you're trans." "Are you sure you want to do this? You're trans?" "Oh, I don't think you've talked to this person, because you're trans." Like, for me, my siblings were eight, three and unborn when I came out, and my two younger siblings, like, unless they see pictures or they ask questions, they're like, not gonna know, and this not the details, because why would they need to? And it's not like they're in but they're growing up in a supportive home still, because my parents are very supportive, which I'm very grateful of. So it's like they're gonna, like, be be uneducated about it, and not support me whenever, like they do find out, and my little brother, who was old enough to remember, there's still probably things that he doesn't remember, which I mean it's I want them to understand it and get my story, my experience, but I think it's kind of a good thing, because they are understanding of the fact that It's not who I am. I'm still my own person. I just am a person who is trans. 

Another thing that I wish, like more people understood, and this applies to everyone, not just these people, is that there is things that like it restricts, regardless of me saying that I wish people didn't like think that it did restrict us as much as it does. There is a lot of things that it restricts like, one time my siblings wanted us to all wear white for, like, a funny joke that we wanted to do, and I got really, like, emotional, and they were all pressuring me, and they're like, oh, you know, just wear white, so I'm gonna be able to wear the white shirt. And I really couldn't do that, because the way the my binder was fitting, the way that it showed just really made me uncomfortable. And that kind of just like, made me spiral a little bit, because I was like, why am I not, like, bodily comfortable wearing a certain color? And I really wish that, like, I could do this to, like, make them happy. And I did work it out that day, but that night that I was trying to do that it just really upset, upset me. And there's a lot of things with swimming, I want to-have a fear of missing out. So a lot sometimes and when I have to because there's restrictions, or, like I'm afraid I'll hurt myself if I try to tape and I mess up, or that my binder isn't clean, or it isn't fitting right, or my the collar of my shirt is sitting too far far, or being too wide that it makes me uncomfortable, and I just feel like I just, have to hide in a shell and wear the same shirt for five days. Like I have to boil the collars of my shirts, which is actually a really good tip I would like to give out, you know, just wrap up in a rubber band, dip in some boiling water for a couple minutes, it tightens the collar. It's really helpful. But I have found ways around things that make me uncomfortable, and I've found ways to relieve myself when I am feeling stressed out or upset, whenever I get triggered from dysphoria, which doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's bad because I guess it's a little bit repressed. But I'm just really grateful for like, the methods that I've found and the people that have helped me find the methods.

music  6:01  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build”]  

Baylee  6:10  
Hi y'all, it's Baylee. I'm the Creative Director of kin•dom community. I’d like to talk a little bit more about kin•dom camp and how you can get involved. kin•dom camp is an opportunity for LGBTQIA+ youth ages 12 to 17 to feel safe and free to show up as their full selves. Campers will have the chance to experience traditional camp activities and recreation, plus some specialized programming to incorporate LGBTQIA+ history and culture. More information can be found on our website kindomcommunity.org/camp. If you have any questions you can't find the answers to, you can email us at kindomcamp@gmail.com. Special thanks again to the Missing Voices Project for their support of this episode. You can learn more about their important work at missingvoices.org. Thanks for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. We are proud to be a safe space for these campers, and we are even more proud of them for sharing their stories. We hope you'll keep gathering around the campfire with us as we celebrate all of the stories that make us this kin•dom community.