How to be a Good Relative

A shared experience of family support and the importance of kindness and acceptance in the queer community. She expressed gratitude towards her supportive family members, including her mother, father, and sister, who have been instrumental in her transition. She highlights the significance of a supportive environment for queer individuals to feel valued and accepted.

Find out more about us by visiting our website, kindomcommunity.org. There you can find information about kin•dom camp and consider supporting our work with a one-time or recurring donation. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram @kindomcommunity to keep up with all the important information.

Transcript

music  0:00  

[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”]

Narrator  0:09  

Thank you for tuning into kin•dom campfire chats, a podcast of kin•dom community. This podcast features the voices of LGBTQIA+ persons, both youth participants and adult staff, who attended kin•dom camp in Texas in the summer of 2024. We asked the camp participants to think of a question that they wished someone would ask them about their life journey. With a friend, and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found. We invite you to listen with an open mind and an open heart. 

music  0:46  

[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "This is the place”]

speaker 1  0:46  

Okay, so transitioning was something kind of similar to my question, what is it like with siblings and other relatives, and how do you be a good relative and sibling to someone who's queer and, more specifically, trans? 

speaker 2  1:10  

So my relative was actually on a recent episode, and I haven't talked with her about it yet, but she mentioned like me, and this is kind of what inspired my question. She's a great sister. I have a great supportive family, and I am so lucky for that. I came out. I guess I didn't even have to come out. I was always out, but I embraced my identity around, like four-ish, five years old, as like a cis-man that was starting to question things about, like gender and stuff like that. And I was, I was starting to wear dresses. And it was, I live in a small Texas town or a medium-sized Texas town, so it was not exactly something that was super like, aware. I'm not in a city or anything like that. So it was definitely a process, and my mom was, my mom was worried, mainly because that's how mothers are. I love her for it. She I went to Halloween one year at my school, and I said, I want to be Cinderella. I had it like  I always thought she was cool, because she was a girl who liked blue, and for me, then it was like, there's this whole debate about girl colors and boy colors and all that is bull crap. But she she packed an extra Spider Man like, like costume in the front seat of the car, just in case. And she told me about the story a while ago, and I went in with my plastic blonde wig and a dress that wasn't meant to fit me, but it still did. And I went in the I went in the into the classroom, and I didn't look back. And I was probably naive. If I'd done that now, if I'd come out now, especially, I would be a lot more scared to do that. But I'm glad that she didn't give in to societal pressures of what it is to have a trans kid, especially at that age. And she took me to events, and she took me to a lot of different things like and introduced me to my to a local group that was meant to deal with trans kids and queer kids in general. I still go to that group today. I just I love her for it. 

speaker 2  3:21  

Next, I'm going to kind of order my family. Next is my dad. He He's, he's an old dad, I guess you could say. He's, he's not young, and he grew up in an even smaller town than I did. Very conservative. I mean, this is in also, like, the 50's, so, so, but he's always been supportive, and he's never like, he's never made anything. He's seen me go through like, because, I mean, I was the only child of his that was born as his son, you know, and I it, I guess, in my mind, I always built like, this stigma that, like, 'oh, my dad must not like me for it or that'. Like he might not, like, appreciate me or accept me, but he, he never once said anything, you know, like he, he still took me target practicing, but like it was never like he was forcing on masculinity to me, he, he always encouraged it. And it made me realize that, like, I could, like, do target practice, and that doesn't have to be a masculine thing. I could do martial arts, and that's not a masculine thing inherently. And I'm really glad that he even, even then, like, I still have some kind of masculinity in me. Everyone does. I'm glad he forced toxic masculinity and he encouraged an environment where anything is okay, you know?

speaker 1  4:44  

 Yeah.

speaker 2  4:45  

I love him for it.

speaker 1  4:48  

It really proves that you can teach an old dog new tricks. 

speaker 2  4:51  

Yeah.

speaker 1  4:54  

Anyone, no matter the age, can still be respectful and learn, you know?

speaker 2  4:57  

Yeah, and like, I'm appreciative because he's like, because he adapted, I'm sure he had to make some kind of change. And finally, my sister, I I grew up as a queer, like I grew up at four as queer, and my sister was battling her own, like her own, like sexuality at a young age as well. And it like, it didn't like, I only found out recently it was, it was very difficult for her, for me, to come out. In fact, it was probably she was the person who took the most like, the most like, yeah, exactly. It hit her the hardest. But she, a couple years later, she came down to me as, like, I guess she, she called it bi-curious at the time, but, and honestly, it made it was kind of hard for me to accept that she was also queer and it wasn't just me, so we were both kind of similar in that way. But she's, she's been my rock. I mean, she's, she's gone to camp with me. She's like, she's been like, she's been with me by my side always, and she's an example of like, of like, modern femininity, and she's always embraced me, that even when I started like, switch, switching pronouns and embracing even more femininity, like she she always encouraged it, and she always asked me, like, where I was, and I appreciate that. So any parents or siblings or relatives listening, I want you to, like, use these examples as a way you can be be supportive to your queer sibling or like child and like, understand that like, this isn't losing something, it's gaining something else, right? Like, I may not have been a son, but at least they have a daughter. I it's just kindness is the biggest thing out of all things. Kindness is, like, it sounds cliche, but like, really lean into it, and it really makes a difference.

speaker 1  6:59  

Yeah, support, no matter how much like how cringy it may feel, it really does help, and I would just give as much of it as is possible.

music  7:09  

[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build”] 

Baylee  7:16  

Hi y'all, it's Baylee. I'm the Creative Director of kin•dom community. I’d like to talk a little bit more about kin•dom camp and how you can get involved. kin•dom camp is an opportunity for LGBTQIA+ youth ages 12 to 17 to feel safe and free to show up as their full selves. Campers will have the chance to experience traditional camp activities and recreation, plus some specialized programming to incorporate LGBTQIA+ history and culture. More information can be found on our website kindomcommunity.org/camp. If you have any questions you can't find the answers to, you can email us at kindomcamp@gmail.com. Thanks for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. We are proud to be a safe space for these campers, and we are even more proud of them for sharing their stories. We hope you'll keep gathering around the campfire with us as we celebrate all of the stories that make us this kin•dom community.