Embrace the Awkwardness

Ideally, parents show queer kids (and any children) unconditional love and create and respect boundaries… even if they come out via text! Navigating adolescence as a queer kid, with its crushes and other challenges, can be handled with support and treating their child as normal. A big piece of advice from their own experience… embrace the awkwardness! That gawkiness is seen as a sign that a parent cares.

Find out more about us by visiting our website, kindomcommunity.org. There you can find information about kin•dom camp and consider supporting our work with a one-time or recurring donation. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram @kindomcommunity to keep up with all the important information.

Transcript

music  0:00  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”]

Narrator  0:09  
Thank you for tuning into kin•dom campfire chats, a podcast of kin•dom community. This podcast features the voices of LGBTQIA+ persons, both youth participants and adult staff, who attended kin•dom camp in Texas in the summer of 2024. We asked the camp participants to think of a question that they wished someone would ask them about their life journey. With a friend, and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found. We invite you to listen with an open mind and an open heart.

music  0:46  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "This is the place”] 

This is the

speaker 1  0:55  
Welcome, friend. How are you today? 

speaker 2  0:57  
Doing great. How are you? 

speaker 1  0:59  
This is our second time doing this about a year out. This is kind of special for me, I hope it's special for you, because it's almost like a year and like a year check in.

speaker 2  1:09  
It is I'm so excited. 

speaker 1  1:10  
Okay, so your question was "How to be a good parent and family member to a queer person?" 

speaker 2  1:17  
Okay, so I'm gonna start this off with, like, a very short story time. When I originally-when I originally came out, it was via text. And even though I didn't really give my parents much leeway to do, like, you know, be too supportive, like, physically and whatever, they still did a really good job at supporting me. They respected all the boundaries that I put beforehand. While still showing how much they loved me and how I didn't really change anything. And I honestly think that even more than just coming out, that's a good way to do all, like, pretty much all interactions, just show the loving, show the supporting. You know?

speaker 1  1:57  
Definitely, yeah, continue. 

speaker 2  2:00  
Um, yeah, pretty much with everything, with like, you know, when they start having crushes, everything like that, or if they already do, just showing how much you love them and how something like that can't change. And I think that goes with pretty much any sexuality or gender orientation. 

speaker 1  2:16  
So if you're comfortable, what are some real life examples that you've had with your parents about like, crushes and like being open about this, because it's like, like a lot of people sometimes come out at a young age, and their parents don't know how to react to that. What is your experience with your family? Or an idea of, like, suggestions of how to react to that? 

speaker 2  2:39  
My favorite part when it comes down to that stuff, is showing the support via just treating it as something normal. You know? I think after around a month after I came out, I was talking about like someone who I liked with my dad, and they were I, the only thing he really said was because I mentioned that I didn't know whether or not they liked guys. And the only thing he said regarding that was, yeah, I'm sure that can be that can make it a lot harder. And I really like that. I appreciated that it didn't have to be a different or more taboo subject. And then, with my siblings, I'm not the only queer sibling, so I think that helped. But honestly, I-it's the exact same thing. They've just treated it as completely normal. 

speaker 1  3:23  
Yeah, no, I think it's extremely like there's a certain component of awkwardness when you come out that, like, that's just normal, that's just life, that's just something you kind of have to, like, accept. And it gets easier with time, so if you're a parent listening to this and you're struggling with your how your child is coming out, I think at least for me, I would say, just embrace the awkwardness, wouldn't you? 

speaker 2  3:50  
Yeah, I agree. I talked about a boundary I put when I came out. It was that I literally said in the text, "please don't come into my room," "You can't talk to me after this", because I needed some time, you know? And then the first day, kind of awkward, but then I think I ended up going on a car ride with my dad, which I do often with him, whenever we want to talk or I want to sing, and with my mom at the end of the day, we sat down on the couch and we just had a nice discussion. And the awkwardness is kind of nice because it shows you that they are there and that they care. And it's honestly awkwardness is better than like anger and saturation and disapprovingness. So if that's even a word.

music  4:32  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build”] 

Baylee  4:41  
Hi y'all, it's Baylee. I'm the Creative Director of kin•dom community. I’d like to talk a little bit more about kin•dom camp and how you can get involved. kin•dom camp is an opportunity for LGBTQIA+ youth ages 12 to 17 to feel safe and free to show up as their full selves. Campers will have the chance to experience traditional camp activities and recreation, plus some specialized programming to incorporate LGBTQIA+ history and culture. More information can be found on our website kindomcommunity.org/camp. If you have any questions you can't find the answers to, you can email us at kindomcamp@gmail.com. Thanks for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. We are proud to be a safe space for these campers, and we are even more proud of them for sharing their stories. We hope you'll keep gathering around the campfire with us as we celebrate all of the stories that make us this kin•dom community.