A Conversation Between Friends

A conversation between friends, the two of them touch on the little or no support in their families, both having the “blessing” of being given holy water to heal them from their queerness. One camper explains that even after being diagnosed with orthostatic hypotension, she can’t get a doctor to believe the severity of her symptoms beyond a simple prescription, blaming that severity on depression. 

This episode was made possible thanks to our partnership with the Missing Voices Project. Based out of Flagler College, the Missing Voices Project believes that amplifying the voices of young people and their adult allies who live and serve in ministry at the intersections of disability, foster care & trauma, gender & sexuality, and racial reconciliation is necessary and holy work. We are grateful to Missing Voices Project for their support and for the bravery of these campers as they share about life at the intersection of queerness and disability. For more information about the Missing Voices Project, please visit www.missingvoices.org

Find out more about us by visiting our website, kindomcommunity.org. There you can find information about kin•dom camp and consider supporting our work with a one-time or recurring donation. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram @kindomcommunity to keep up with all the important information.

Transcript

music  0:00  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”]  

Narrator  0:09  
Thank you for tuning into kin•dom campfire chats, a podcast of kin•dom community. This podcast features the voices of LGBTQIA+ persons, both youth participants and adult staff, who attended kin•dom camp in Texas in the summer of 2024. We asked the camp participants to think of a question that they wished someone would ask them about their life journey. With a friend, and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found. We invite you to listen with an open mind and an open heart. 

music  0:50  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "This is the place”] 

Narrator  0:56  
This episode was made possible thanks to our partnership with the Missing Voices Project who believes that amplifying the voices of young people and their adult allies who live and serve in ministry at the intersections of disability, foster care & trauma, gender & sexuality, and racial reconciliation is necessary and holy work. We are grateful for the bravery of these campers as they share about life at the intersection of queerness and disability. 

speaker 1  1:29  
What is it like growing up trans in a Christian family? 

speaker 2  1:32  
So, I've always been always trans since I was like, really, um, I was introduced the community as, like, a really young child, I had like my neighbors were gay, I loved them, so I always knew it was, and I from a very young age even before I knew it was, I just was not interested in being a girl. I was very, I wanted to be a boy. And for a while as a kid, I told everyone that I was a boy, and if you asked me what I was, I'd be like, I'm a boy, and I would just completely disassociate with the fact that I'm like, a girl, and, yeah, and in like, Christian family, obviously, like, there's like, risks and stuff with like coming out, and it was very difficult to come out to my family, because they are very Christian. But I came out to my mom, and she originally told me that I was not trans, and I was just going through a phase, and then she somewhat accepted, and now she is very accepting. She is she is an ally, and we love her. And then coming out to my grandparents, they are very homophobic, and they do not accept it. So it is very difficult to know that because of my identity, my family doesn't accept me. It is like a very difficult thing for me, but yeah, like coming out to like my family, like extended family, they, they blessed me with holy water to rid me of my sins for being trans.

speaker 1  3:16  
Yeah, I got holy water sprayed at me at church. It was kind of fun.

speaker 2  3:19  
Oh No.

So a question for you, how does being disabled affect school, your work or your future? 

speaker 1  3:31  
So for me, it's been a big thing. Last year I got not on paper, but a doctor told me I had orthostatic hypotension or OH, and when I asked, "Oh, well, can I get an official diagnosis for accommodations at school relating to my disability", which is now classified as a chronic illness, he said no, because it was probably also just depression causing it. And for a very long time I struggled with the fact that, hey, I have something wrong, and just drinking a bunch of water isn't going to help. I'm currently on medications for it, and it has made an improvement in my way of living, but it's also been very difficult. I realized how bad it was when in middle school I started to continually pass out in my classes. I would try and move from my chair and I would just faint or collapse. And usually I have, like a split second before I know I'm about to collapse, so I would try and sit back down as best as possible.

The biggest turning point for getting diagnosed was, I was in my tennis class and we were running, we had to do a mile run, and I couldn't do it. I felt like I was going to pass out. I felt like I was going to throw up. I stopped during to get water, and my coach yelled at me, made me do another lap. It was by far the worst experience I went home in tears, and I told my mom, I said, "hey, can we go to the doctor? There is something wrong with me." I talked to the nurse. She said, "it's nothing." She said, "it's probably my imagination, and I think there's something wrong." And it was one of the worst things that I think ever happened. I was I didn't understand why I wasn't able to run like everybody else was, and I wasn't understanding of like, what's wrong, until I went to the doctor and I found out. I did my own research when I got home. And it honestly kind of hurt, because it explained a lot of, like, my childhood, why I couldn't do certain things, why I would feel sick after spending a lot of time running, but it was still very painful to know that, like, it's something that I can't really fix without medications, and it's just been an interesting thing because I have to think about what extracurricular activities I'm going to do. I can't really go outside as much, because especially in this Texas heat, I get exhausted, and it makes me feel worse. And the other thing is, sometimes if I spend too long standing or I spend too long sitting, I start to feel really dizzy and nauseous. There's no middle ground for me, and medication, it does help, but it doesn't do enough, and I don't want to take so many meds that it's just basically my own diet for the day, because the meds that they give me taste disgusting, and they make me feel sick. So with or without them, I will feel nauseous at some point in the day, and it's been painful. I I've had to not take certain classes because it requires so much physical activity, and I I enjoy horse riding and stuff, and I have to limit myself on how much I exercise while doing that and how much I spend sitting, because I might pass out on a horse, which is heartbreaking, because it's something that I love. And I think I didn't really notice how bad it was until I started taking meds, because I was like, 'Oh, this is a difference.' I mean, I actually noticed what was wrong before, and so it draw it drew attention to what was wrong. And even now, thinking about my future, there were a lot of things that I wanted to do that I know I won't be able to do now, because I can't spend a lot of time standing or sitting, and it's just been difficult. My current goal is to do taxidermy, because it's the most fluid thing that I can do, and also bug pinning. It's the two things that I enjoy and find interesting. And my hope is that I'll be able to find something that'll actually help.

music  7:36  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build”]

Baylee  7:44  
Hi y'all, it's Baylee. I'm the Creative Director of kin•dom community. I’d like to talk a little bit more about kin•dom camp and how you can get involved. kin•dom camp is an opportunity for LGBTQIA+ youth ages 12 to 17 to feel safe and free to show up as their full selves. Campers will have the chance to experience traditional camp activities and recreation, plus some specialized programming to incorporate LGBTQIA+ history and culture. More information can be found on our website kindomcommunity.org/camp. If you have any questions you can't find the answers to, you can email us at kindomcamp@gmail.com. Special thanks again to the Missing Voices Project for their support of this episode. You can learn more about their important work at missingvoices.org.**  Thanks for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. We are proud to be a safe space for these campers, and we are even more proud of them for sharing their stories. We hope you'll keep gathering around the campfire with us as we celebrate all of the stories that make us this kin•dom community.