Episode 12 - On Being Queer and Jewish

In kin•dom campfire chats, we asked camp participants to think of a question that they wish someone would ask them about their life journey. With a friend and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found. 

Episode 12:
Camper 1 - 16yo - She/They
Camper 2 - 13yo - He/She/They

"Being involved in the Jewish community has made me more confident in my queerness."

Find out more about us by visiting our website, kindomcommunity.org. There you can find information about kin•dom camp and consider supporting our work with a one-time or recurring donation. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram @kindomcommunity to keep up with all the important information.

Transcript

music  0:00  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”]  

Narrator  0:09  
Thank you for tuning in to kin•dom campfire chats, a podcast of kin•dom community. This podcast features the voices of LGBTQIA+ persons, both youth participants and adult staff who attended kin•dom camp in Texas in the summer of 2023. We asked the camp participants to think of a question that they wish someone would ask them about their life journey with a friend and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found. We invite you to listen with an open mind and an open heart.

music  0:50  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "This is the place”] 

speaker 1  0:56  
How has faith helped slash hurt you come to terms with your identity? 

speaker 2  1:02  
So, I identify as Jewish - actually I'm fasting today, because it is a high, well not high holy day, but it's a holiday that marks the destruction of the Second Temple and a bunch of other not so fun tragedies. Um, I didn't really grow up religious. I mean, I'd go to synagogue every Sunday, not Saturday, I know. But I'd go there. And you know, we'd have like fun stuff. We never really talked about sexuality or queer people. I think, actually, I would say, being more involved with the Jewish community has made me feel more confident in my queerness we– we are kind of like the textbook of like, we're the pre-emptive of Christianity. So a lot of the, kind of the translation issues about how 'a man can't sleep with a man for that's a sin' - in the Hebrew, it's 'a man cannot sleep with a boy,' which is a sin which condones pedophilia. Additionally, as I did more research into this, I found that a lot of Jews identify under the queer label and identification. In fact, under my religion, we recognize at least six different genders, which I think is really cool. And being in this environment, we don't, because the thing about Judaism is that we're taught to question everything - we question the existence of God, we question why do we do all these things? If you've met a Jew, we are known for being argumentative, and loud, and obnoxious. But that's just the culture that we have. So because of this, we've always been questioning, why do we have these rules? Why do we do these things? In fact, we– our first, the first openly gay Rabbi came out in the 80s. And additionally, we had I think queer marriage was accepted in– at least, because we have different sectors. So in the least religious sector, reformed, was accepted, I believe, late 90s, early 2000s. And I think, I think that's what really has helped me become more not just a person of faith, but a queer person of faith, is that having this religion that makes it tolerable to question the norms, and not just conform to it.

speaker 1  3:29  
That's great. That's really cool. I, I love that. Yeah. Judaism is really interesting to me.

speaker 2  3:36  
Real. 

speaker 1  3:38  
I love how you were able to share that.

speaker 2  3:40  
Thank you.

speaker 1  3:43  
What was it like coming to terms with your sexuality versus actually being in a queer relationship? 

speaker 2  3:54  
I first found out that I was omni sexual - which for a brief meaning of it, it's like pansexuality. I like all genders, male, female, non binary, you name it. But I tend - it's unlike pansexuality, which sees gender not as a part of the relationship like they're gender blind - omnisexuality views gender as being a part of the relationship, or even having a preference. For example, I tend to have a preference towards femininity, which is ironic considering I've been in more– with more men than women. I think once I came to terms with that, it was like, wow, women! And– I– it was like, it was you know, it all made sense in my head. So I had like, but I knew that like I had to keep it– I tried telling my mom and she was like– because especially when you use like micro labels, people see it more as a phase or trying on something else or you're just, you know, trying to fit in with the kids because being gay is a trend now? I don't know. So when I was in my first queer relationship, which was in eighth grade, I remember feeling like I had to keep it on the DL, like, this was not something I could even talk to my therapist about, or my friends, just because I felt not something to be ashamed of. But it was just like, taboo. And because of that, because, you know, the whole stereotype about gay relationships are harder breakups than you know, heterosexual ones, I for one can advocate for that. Because when my first queer partner, we broke things off, I was a wreck for like, six months, I was so sad. Like, I could not come to terms with it. And it really took a lot of like, talking things out, telling my mom somehow. And I think it's because we have– when you're, like, figured out, you're queer, and you're like, dang, I like the same gender as me or whatever queer means to you. You kind of will have this rose glass view of it, like you see these relationships, while the world is like perfect– or while the world is imperfect around you, this type of relationship is perfect. And unfortunately, queer relationships, well not unfortunately, but truthfully, queer relationships are exactly the same as straight relationships. There's going to be arguments, there's going to be disagreements, there's going to be, you know, ups and downs. And that's just natural with what happens. So I think that's definitely something that is important to recognize. Because once I went into my second queer relationship, I suddenly it was a– def– it was healthier, at least in my eyes. I felt like I could actually communicate and I could talk about it with other people– that it wasn't– had to be a secret. So it's recognizing that queer relationships are exactly the same the straight ones. 

speaker 1  7:12  
Yeah. 

speaker 2  7:14  
Okay.

music  7:15  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”]   

Narrator  7:25  
Thank you for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. This podcast is a production of kin•dom community. You can find out more about kin•dom community by going to kindomcommunity.org or by searching kin•dom community on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

Baylee  7:49  
Hi y'all, it's Baylee. I'm the Creative Director of kin•dom community.

Andy  7:55  
And I'm Andy, the Program Director of kin•dom community.

John  7:58  
I'm John, the executive director of kin•dom community.

Baylee  8:02  
We wanted to talk a little bit more about kin•dom camp and how you can get involved.

Andy  8:07  
kin•dom camp is an opportunity for LGBTQIA+ youth ages 12 to 17 to feel safe and free to show up as their full selves. Campers will have the chance to experience all the fun that camp has to offer in a week filled with affirmation community and celebration. This camp is intentionally created to be affirming space. It affirms all genders, sexualities, identities, and varieties of belief. The only thing we expect is a commitment to welcoming and celebrating everyone where they are as they are.

Baylee  8:36  
And this isn't just any summer camp - we're talking rainbows and glitter everywhere. kin•dom camp will include plenty of traditional camp activities and recreation, plus some specialized programming to incorporate activities and conversations around mental health, yoga, embodiment, and LGBTQIA+ history and culture. Now more than ever, LGBTQ youth are in need of unconditional love and acceptance. kin•dom camp is a space for just that. 

John  9:06  
We're always looking for fully affirming, welcoming and loving adults to help us make kin•dom campus success. This will be a wonderful opportunity to connect with mentor and learn from our youth. But most importantly, we ask that you are ready to celebrate everyone where they are as they are. 

Andy  9:25  
Both registration for campers and applications to be on camp staff are now open. You can find these links on our website kindomcommunity.org/camp If you have any questions you can't find the answers to, you can email me at andy@kindomcommunity.org.

Baylee  9:39  
Also, be sure to check us out on socials @kindomcommunity on Instagram and Facebook. We post all of our important announcements and fun camp moments so you'll want to follow along.

John  9:51  
Thanks for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. We are proud to be a safe space for these campers and we are even more proud of them for sharing their stories. We hope you'll keep gathering around the campfire with us as we celebrate all of the stories that make us this kin•dom community.

music  10:09  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build”]  

Transcribed by https://otter.ai