Episode 10 - We're Not Appropriate

In kin•dom campfire chats, we asked camp participants to think of a question that they wish someone would ask them about their life journey. With a friend and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found. 

Episode 10:
Camper 1 - 13 yo - They/Them
Camper 2 - 13 yo - He/They

TW: bullying

A conversation about navigating hate speech and bullying in public and private school and on social media.

Find out more about us by visiting our website, kindomcommunity.org. There you can find information about kin•dom camp and consider supporting our work with a one-time or recurring donation. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram @kindomcommunity to keep up with all the important information.

Transcript

music  0:00  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”]  

Narrator  0:09  
Thank you for tuning in to kin•dom campfire chats, a podcast of kin•dom community. This podcast features the voices of LGBTQIA+ persons, both youth participants and adult staff who attended kin•dom camp in Texas in the summer of 2023. We asked the camp participants to think of a question that they wish someone would ask them about their life journey with a friend and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found, we invite you to listen with an open mind and an open heart.

music  0:50  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "This is the place”] 

speaker 1  0:56  
So are there any LGBT non inclusive experiences you can share with me about your school? 

speaker 2  1:04  
Um, so one time at my school there was like, um, so we, me and my friends meet at like the same spot outside of a few classrooms for lunch every day. And one time we were explaining to people what the we were educating them on what like bi and pan means. And then somebody, like came in, like one of the staff came in and then told us that we were not supposed to be talking about that in school, and that it's not an appropriate subject conversation. While meanwhile, people in the other room were literally saying, like, slurs and stuff, and they didn't say anything about that.

speaker 1  1:44  
Do you think they got mad? Because they said, because you guys said sexual,

speaker 2  1:48  
We didn't even say, like pansexual or bisexual, we were just saying pan and bi. Um, and I think it's really unfair, that they're talking about that, because it makes us feel like, we're like that we're not appropriate, and that we're not like– because that's us and it feels like we're not being fairly treated and that we're not supposed to be there.

speaker 1  2:11  
I know, other schools have gay straight alliance– alliances. Does your school have that? 

speaker 2  2:17  
With my school, um, there is like– we asked to put in, like a gay group where a bunch of people can meet up and talk about their experiences, and they said that it wouldn't be inclusive enough to other straight people.

speaker 1  2:36  
Gosh, these school districts are really messing up. 

speaker 2  2:40  
Yeah. 

speaker 1  2:41  
And is this a public or a private school?

speaker 2  2:43  
It's a private school. Yeah.

speaker 1  2:47  
I expected better from the private schools.

speaker 2  2:50  
Yeah. Have you ever had any negative experience for from public schools?

speaker 1  2:55  
Um, yeah, I've had a couple. I had to leave my school, like, very close to the STAAR test because of my experiences. And uhm, it wasn't great. But you know, I'm glad I moved to a better school now. Because, you know, public schools. 

speaker 2  3:12  
Yeah. The school system is not good at like, you know, it's not good at, like prioritizing people's feelings. Especially the public school system. Because before I moved to a private school, there were a lot of people, and teachers especially, that, like, were not fair. And if you were, like, even out like to your friends, like it would not be good because it would somehow get around. And then you would be unfairly treated. And yeah.

speaker 1  3:52  
Speaking of public things, do you have any social media, like, bad social media things that have happened to you because you're LGBTQ? 

speaker 2  4:00  
Yeah, I found that like, if you post anything about like, trans or gay or anything of the sort, then you're always like, you always get hate comments. And it's really not fair. 

speaker 1  4:12  
Yeah.

speaker 2  4:13  
Have you? 

speaker 1  4:14  
Yeah, I've there are accounts that follow me that are like 'we hate' and then my dead name. There were kids that went to my school and they didn't get punished at all because they couldn't find out who owned those accounts. And there were also gossip accounts for my school, which had false rumors about me. And people would comment on my posts and be like, 'you can't be asexual and bi that's not possible,' and they wouldn't even spell it right, which is really stupid. And I had people like DMing me and my, uh on Instagram like calling me like slurs and uhm, dead naming me or like saying that I can't be trans because I live in Texas. And, um, and a lot of these people, like were like in their 30s or were kids that went to my school. They were– there were like– one guy was like calling me slurs. And he made two separate accounts just to do that to me twice. And I think it's so funny because like, he's in like his, he's like 35, 

speaker 2  5:19  
and he has nothing better to do 

speaker 1  5:20  
nothing better to do 

speaker 2  5:21  
than just insult you. 

speaker 1  5:23  
And I was like, 'so why should I care? You're like, 35? And I'm 13, you know?' 

speaker 2  5:32  
Yeah. And like, they really need like, people really need to learn how to, like, respect other people and like their boundaries.

speaker 1  5:43  
Yeah, a bunch of kids at my school just didn't do that. And like, walk around the halls and like, touching other kids and stuff. Yeah, especially because there were a couple other trans kids in my school. Like, I heard that this one kid would go up and just purposely touch all the trans kids. Like, luckily, I wasn't like a victim of that. But like other trans kids, they would like go and like, grab their, like bra straps or like, touch their– them in like private areas. And we would tell the school, and one of the counselors just said, 'oh, yeah, that's my buddy,' whatever this kid's name was. And I was like, 'Are you going to do anything about that? Are you just gonna let him keep touching the trans kids inappropriately?' Like, he almost did that to me. I was walking down to the hallway. And he like, ran up to me and grabbed my shoulders and shook me and then ran into the boys bathroom. And then I went to the counselor's office and told them, and they looked at the security camera, there was so much proof that they could have seen, and they saw it, and they're like, 'oh, that's just my friend,' whatever his name was.

speaker 2  6:40  
Yeah. Um, like, my old public school. I'm like, when I like whenever I was out. This was before I kind of like started experimenting with my sexuality. So I identified as like, pan, I think. And just because I was out, the schools like, didn't like basically, if I was getting picked on, they wouldn't say anything about it. Like, before I was out they would be like, 'oh, yeah, that's not fair. We'll talk to them.' And then they would like talk to them about bullying and stuff. And then just because I was out, they, they were like, 'oh, no, sorry.' Like,

speaker 1  7:20  
Yeah, the thing is, a lot of public schools like mine, they can't go tell the students to stop because that'll make other students do it. Because those kids would say something. When I got some kid suspended, people started writing down death threats and putting it in my backpack. They would be like, 'Oh, go kill yourself, because you got this one kid who dead named you several times suspended.' And I– and then I would send those kids to the office. I'll be like, 'oh, yeah, this kid wrote that and that,' and then those kids would tell their friends and it would just be an ongoing cycle.

speaker 2  7:51  
Yeah. Um, a lot of times at my school, they would put like, little side comments, just like on people's like lockers and stuff. Like we– most of us weren't assigned our own lockers because they were for special needs. But like, sometimes, like, they know that we would have a class there. So they would like write notes specifically for us on the lockers. And like, yeah, it's just those little tiny comments that like, like, you don't think they hurt, but they hurt a lot more than you, like, than most people think that they do. 

speaker 1  8:22  
Yeah. Um, public schools really need to like get their act together and start suspending more kids that are anti LGBTQ. They like, there's a pre K in my area that has a bunch of pride flags everywhere, and no one rips anything down. And I think that's great. Because they're teaching the kids like, it's okay to be different. But when middle schools and like elementary schools, they can't even do anything, like the pre-Kers are better behaving than these middle schoolers who are like, five, five years older - no, 10 years older than these pre-Kers. It's so stupid that like, the principal's can't be like, 'you're gonna– you can't like say that you're gonna be suspended.' Because I bet you if they could, like, half my school would be suspended right now and I would be fine. 

speaker 2  9:11  
Yeah, um, like public, especially public schools. They're big on like, Oh, we don't tolerate bullying, but they let it happen. And then they don't do anything about it. 

speaker 1  9:20  
Yeah. So stupid. And I think that it's really, really like something that they need to deal with before. Like they get sued. 

speaker 2  9:30  
Because it's not our problem to deal with this harassment. 

speaker 1  9:33  
Yeah. Like it they there's a lot of proof on getting– on them– on being able to sue them because of how badly they mistreat LGBTQ students and students like– that, even if they aren't LGBTQ, like special needs students, like they– at my old school, special needs students were sent into a diff– completely different classroom, and we never got to see them. They were in that classroom all day, the whole day. And then when– they even got released a couple hours before us so that we didn't see them. 

speaker 2  10:08  
That's crazy. 

speaker 1  10:09  
Yeah. And I was like, Well, okay, but like, I understand that maybe they need a little more help than other kids. But that doesn't mean you should like completely revoke their socialize– socialization, because sometimes that can make them worse. 

speaker 2  10:24  
Yeah. 

music  10:27  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”]  

Narrator  10:33  
Thank you for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. This podcast is a production of kin•dom community. You can find out more about kin•dom community by going to kindomcommunity.org or by searching kin•dom community on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

Baylee  11:01  
Hi y'all it's Baylee. I'm the Creative Director of kin•dom community.

Andy  11:06  
And I'm Andy, the Program Director of kin•dom community.

John  11:10  
I'm John the executive director of kin•dom community.

Baylee  11:13  
We wanted to talk a little bit more about kin•dom camp and how you can get involved

Andy  11:17  
kin•dom camp is an opportunity for LGBTQIA+ youth ages 12 to 17 to feel safe and free to show up as their full selves. Campers will have the chance to experience all the fun that camp has to offer in a week filled with affirmation community and celebration. This camp is intentionally created to be affirming space. It affirms all genders, sexualities, identities and varieties of belief. The only thing we expect is a commitment to welcoming and celebrating everyone where they are as they are. 

Baylee  11:47  
And this isn't just me summer camp - we're talking rainbows and glitter everywhere. kin•dom camp will include plenty of traditional camp activities and recreation, plus some specialized programming to incorporate activities and conversations around mental health, yoga, embodiment, and LGBTQIA+ history and culture. Now more than ever, LGBTQ youth are in need of unconditional love and acceptance. kin•dom camp is a space for just that. 

John  12:17  
We're always looking for fully affirming, welcoming and loving adults to help us make kin•dom campus success. This will be a wonderful opportunity to connect with mentor and learn from our youth. But most importantly, we ask that you are ready to celebrate everyone where they are as they are. 

Andy  12:36  
Both registration for campers and applications to be on camp staff are now open. You can find these links on our website kindomcommunity.org/camp. If you have any questions you can't find the answers to you can email me at Andy@kindomcommunity.org.

Baylee  12:50  
Also, be sure to check us out on socials @kindomcommunity on Instagram and Facebook. We post all of our important announcements and fun camp moments so you'll want to follow along. 

John  13:02  
Thanks for listening to kin•dom camp fire chats. We are proud to be a safe space for these campers and we are even more proud of them for sharing their stories. We hope you'll keep gathering around the campfire with us as we celebrate all of the stories that make us this kin•dom community.

music  13:20  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build”]  

Transcribed by https://otter.ai