Episode 2 - On Being a Trans and Gay Teen in Texas

In kin•dom campfire chats, we asked camp participants to think of a question that they wish someone would ask them about their life journey. With a friend and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found. 

Episode 2:
Camper 1 - 12 yo - He/Him
Camper 2 - 13 yo - She/They

A conversation about not getting support in the place you call home.
"Micro aggression is a stab in the heart."

Find out more about us by visiting our website, kindomcommunity.org. There you can find information about kin•dom camp and consider supporting our work with a one-time or recurring donation. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram @kindomcommunity to keep up with all the important information.

Transcript

music  0:00  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go"] 

Narrator  0:09  
Thank you for tuning in to kin•dom campfire chats, a podcast of kin•dom community. This podcast features the voices of LGBTQIA+ persons, both youth participants and adult staff, who attended kin•dom camp in Texas in the summer of 2023. We asked the camp participants to think of a question that they wish someone would ask them about their life journey. With a friend and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found. We invite you to listen with an open mind and an open heart.

music  0:50  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "This is the place"] 

speaker 1  0:56  
Hi!

speaker 2  0:57  
Hi 

speaker 1  0:57  
How are you? 

speaker 2  0:58  
Good. How are you? 

speaker 1  0:59  
I'm fine. It's a very hot summer day. 

speaker 2  1:02  
No kidding. Um, okay. I wanted to start off by saying like, I kind of know what it's like to grow up as a younger part member of the queer community and the LGBTQ+ community. But as I am cis, I would love to see as a teen what your stance and what it's like being like a trans teen nowadays, in such an unsupportive state. 

speaker 1  1:28  
Yeah. So I am very lucky to grow up in a household with very supportive family members and a sibling who is also queer, like me, and my family members, my grandparents, my parents, my uncle's, my aunts, they all understand and care for me. And I'm also very blessed to have grown up in primary school with a very supportive environment. But one of my first memories of experiencing just blatant homophobia and transphobia is, there was this kid in my grade. And she grew up in a very religious household. And I was aware at the time that, you know, I've sort of made it out in my mind that a lot of religious people tend to have more, uhm..

speaker 2  2:15  
unsupportive?

speaker 1  2:16  
unsupportive beliefs. 

speaker 2  2:17  
Yeah

speaker 1  2:17  
And I was cautious of her. And I was aware with my queer friends that I didn't feel I could be open around her. And she had gotten wind of that. And she was angry and came up to me and, I can still laugh about this, she says, 'I'm not homophobic, I just don't like it.' And ironically, that is exactly what homophobia is. 

speaker 2  2:42  
Yeah. 

speaker 1  2:42  
And if I could, I would have pointed it out to her. And unfortunately, we had a falling out, not anything related. But I still think about the experience, you know. And, I mean, as I sort of came into how I feel about my gender identity, and especially when, at the time of recording this our– my state doesn't support me, I can't get the care come September 1 that I need, you know, and I've heard how life changing it is. And I know it's life changing and how it really helps save people. And I just feel so scared and so lost sometimes, because I feel like I need that support. And I need that care. But I don't live in an area that supports that. I don't feel comfortable expressing "Hi, I'm trans. These are my pronouns" anymore. Because I know like when I open my phone, and I just scroll on my feed every now and again, I'll see a "liberals and their pronouns", "USA," and stuff like that. And it's hilarious when you think about it. And I try to keep a positive mindset. But every time I open the comments, or I see someone who is trans, and they are talking about their experience, it's always something negative. And it's just like, 

speaker 2  4:02  
It hurts. 

speaker 1  4:03  
It hurts cause I call my state home, right? I have family and I have friends, I have school here. And I have– I have so many memories and emotions tied to this place. So why are they hurting me? Why are they deliberately trying to exclude me and make me feel like it's all in my head and I'm a delusion, you know? 

speaker 2  4:24  
Yeah. And you don't deserve that. 

speaker 1  4:26  
I don't and none of us deserve that. The queer community has been a sort of target for blatant homophobia and transphobia. Here's the thing, all these lawmakers who are making this homophobic and transphobic legislation, they're just doing it for their own political ploy. They don't care about - and I'm saying this in air quotes - "the children." They just care about personal gain, and it's so petty and stupid that people's lives are on the line and they are doing it for personal gain.

speaker 2  5:00  
For greed. 

speaker 1  5:01  
Exactly. 

speaker 2  5:02  
It's just disgusting and polarizing kinda. 

speaker 1  5:05  
Mhm. And I wanted to, going with that, um, you and I are around the same age. 

speaker 2  5:11  
Yeah

speaker 1  5:11  
We're both teens growing up in an unsupportive state with not only transphobia, but homophobia. So what's it like for you, a young person discovering their sexuality? 

speaker 2  5:24  
Um, that's a great question. I think it was especially hard for me because I didn't just discover it like, recently or anything, which even then it'd be so hard, especially around our area. But I discovered it when I was really around eight or nine. And it was so scary, but I was lucky enough, like you said, to just grow up in a supportive area. So I didn't realize they were so like, marginalized. And that that community was so scary. 

speaker 1  5:56  
Yeah. 

speaker 2  5:56  
So when I first thought of it, I went to my sister's room, and I was like, "Hey, I have something to tell you." And then right then it hit me. And I feel like all of it hit me, that, just– it's harder than that. And it's not that simple. 

speaker 1  6:10  
It could be that simple. But it's in the society that we live in. It's never that simple. 

speaker 2  6:15  
And it's hard because it should be. And we all deserve it to be. 

speaker 1  6:19  
Yeah. It's not like people– you go out there and say, "you're straight. And you're holding hands as a boy with a girl. So therefore, we don't like you. And you can't eat in our establishment." 

speaker 2  6:30  
Yeah. And so many people also, like, they don't understand. Like, and I'm talking about, and not everybody, but a lot of straight people don't understand how hard it can also be. It seems maybe like, oh, well, you don't get like beat up as much or whatever. But like, it's still hard. And even those tiniest microaggressions can be like a stab in the heart. 

speaker 1  6:53  
Yeah, I mean, we've come so far, the queer rights movement really started I think it really launched back in like the 60s with the Stonewall riots. 

speaker 2  7:01  
Oh, yeah. 

speaker 1  7:03  
But we've– it's three steps forward, two steps back. We've only just, we've only just gotten forward, and gay marriage was only legalized only a couple of years ago. And now we're back to the point where we can be discriminated against. 

speaker 2  7:18  
Yeah, well, and even with the same sex marriage law, although it's currently like, it's not illegal, there– still, there are so many people who are trying to push it to be, and there's so many other things that they're trying to push. 

speaker 1  7:33  
Yeah, it's also like social influence, like, sure we have basic rights to be married to who we want to. But what's that to the eyes of churches who run America or people who will go out of their way to target communities. Like, I'm scared to go into a Walmart sometimes, or I'm scared to go up to someone with like, a pronoun pin or a trans flag, because I'm worried that I will be targeted, and I can be assaulted and or killed. 

speaker 2  8:06  
Exactly. And it's just really hard living in that way, where there's just this like, constant little voice in your head. Especially like, I'm somebody who, like I have to admit, when you see me, if you talk to me for a second, there's a good chance you're going to tell I'm a part of this community. So it's just always there. It's ever present. 

speaker 1  8:28  
Yeah. And it's, it's like we can't live how everyone else does.

speaker 2  8:33  
Really. But then when you express - so often, at least - when you express that fear, and that sadness, and all that stuff, even that rage, kind of– like because we are starting to get those basic foundations down, people will say, "Oh, you're not discriminated. Oh, you're doing it for attention."

speaker 1  8:52  
Exactly. 

speaker 2  8:53  
"You're not valid for your feelings because you're starting to make a little progress."

speaker 1  8:57  
Well, our feelings are valid. 

speaker 2  9:00  
Exactly. And everybody's are.

music  9:01  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "O let's build, let's build a place we can go"] 

Narrator  9:13  
Thank you for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. This podcast is a production of kin•dom community. You can find out more about kin•dom community by going to kindomcommunity.org or by searching kin•dom community on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. 

Baylee  9:38  
Hi y'all, it's Baylee. I'm the Creative Director of kin•dom community. 

Andy  9:43  
And I'm Andy, the Program Director of kin•dom community.

John  9:47  
And I'm John, the Executive Director of kin•dom community. 

Baylee  9:50  
We wanted to talk a little bit more about kin•dom camp and how you can get involved.

Andy  9:55  
kin•dom camp is an opportunity for LGBTQIA+ youth ages 12 to 17 to feel safe and free to show up as their full selves. Campers will have the chance to experience all the fun that camp has to offer in a week filled with affirmation, community, and celebration. This camp is intentionally created to be affirming space. It affirms all genders, sexualities, identities and varieties of belief. The only thing we expect is a commitment to welcoming and celebrating everyone where they are as they are.

Baylee  10:24  
And this isn't just any summer camp - we're talking rainbows and glitter everywhere. kin•dom camp will include plenty of traditional camp activities and recreation, plus some specialized programming to incorporate activities and conversations around mental health, yoga, embodiment, and LGBTQIA+ history and culture. Now more than ever, LGBTQ youth are in need of unconditional love and acceptance. kin•dom camp is a space for just that.

John  10:54  
We're always looking for fully affirming, welcoming, and loving adults to help us make kin•dom camp a success. This will be a wonderful opportunity to connect with, mentor, and learn from our youth. But most importantly, we ask that you are ready to celebrate everyone where they are as they are.

Andy  11:13  
Both registration for campers and applications to be on camp staff are now open. You can find these links on our website kindomcommunity.org/camp. If you have any questions you can't find the answers to you can email me at Andy@kindomcommunity.org.   

Baylee  11:28  
Also, be sure to check this out on socials @kindomcommunity on Instagram and Facebook. We post all of our important announcements and fun camp moments so you'll want to follow along.

John  11:39  
Thanks for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. We are proud to be a safe space for these campers, and we are even more proud of them for sharing their stories. We hope you'll keep gathering around the campfire with us as we celebrate all of the stories that make us this kin•dom community.

music  11:58  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build..."] 

Transcribed by https://otter.ai