Episode 13 - Walking Into Church

In kin•dom campfire chats, we asked camp participants to think of a question that they wish someone would ask them about their life journey. With a friend and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found. 

Episode 13:
Camper 1 - 16yo - She/Her
Camper 2 - 15 yo - They/Them

A conversation about church and a sense of alienation, even when a faith community is open and affirming.

Find out more about us by visiting our website, kindomcommunity.org. There you can find information about kin•dom camp and consider supporting our work with a one-time or recurring donation. Be sure to follow us on Facebook and Instagram @kindomcommunity to keep up with all the important information.

Transcript

music  0:00  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”]  .

Narrator  0:09  
Thank you for tuning in to kin•dom campfire chats, a podcast of kin•dom community. This podcast features the voices of LGBTQIA+ persons, both youth participants and adults staff who attended kin•dom camp in Texas in the summer of 2023. We asked the camp participants to think of a question that they wish someone would ask them about their life journey with a friend and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found, we invite you to listen with an open mind and an open heart.

music  0:50  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "This is the place”] 

speaker 1  0:57  
I, myself, have grown up like Southern Baptist, but only recently after my, like somebody in my family came out as trans, have moved over to a much more like accepting kind of church. Like for the the LGBTQ+ community. So I wanted to ask you, with you being queer, like what it's like being queer in a religious family, just to get your experience on it.? 

speaker 2  1:27  
Yeah. So when I came out, it was one of the scariest things I've ever done. Because well, it's obviously scary when you come out for every reason. But for me, my mom is a pastor, and my dad teaches confirmation, he teaches Sunday school. My entire family, since I was a little kid, we've always been very involved with the church. And as queer people, we've all been hurt by the church in some way or another. Yeah, like maybe it wasn't your congregation or your specific church. But we've all been hurt by the church in some way. And so there's this added level of being just terrified of what if there's another reason that this could go wrong. So when I came out, I was very worried that for some religious reason, my parents would be against me or something like that. And just being in a religious family, and being queer period has some other just nuances to it. Like going to church, my church specifically is very opening and very welcoming. Our music director, who's unfortunately, leaving is openly gay. Our organist is openly gay. So we have a very welcoming community. But it's very hard to walk into a church sometimes, even if you know it's safe and you know it's welcoming. It's hard walking into a space where you know, that like at some point or another, you were not accepted. You were demonized, you are marginalized from that community. So there's a part of me that walks into church every Sunday, and is like, I'm a little bit uncomfortable here.

speaker 1  3:01  
Yeah. I think that's why for a while, I just didn't go to church, like between the time of me leaving my old church and then going to my new church, because I had only stayed in my old church for the youth aspect. And I had gone to the new one for the idea of like, having youth and like doing things with the youth, but there's just not enough youth that goes to church anymore, I think because queer youth do not feel accepted to go to church because of the history in church. Like, a lot of times, like, we will go to church, like as kids in a very strict, like either household or church society, and get the idea put into our heads that we do not belong. Because I remember, as a little girl, like, uhm, being told that I could not do the things that the boys could because I was a girl and like, I cannot like even lift the chairs because I was a girl. And that hurt. And I remember asking one time one of the youth pastors if like, like about girlfriends or something, and it was like, it was only girls in our group. Like they separated the girls from the guys, because Southern Baptist, like they just did that. And I remember asking about girlfriends one time and I just got like, wide eyed gazes like, like what are you even asking? Um, and that just made me feel so cornered and so like, shaken. But I feel like even like seeing like, church like things like I don't know if you kind of like feel this, but like seeing like church like things, or like the cross or whatever, like just seeing things like relate to church make me feel like that little girl who couldn't do what she wanted to do. 

speaker 2  5:03  
Yeah, it sounds like a little bit of like religious trauma or something just a little bit. Yeah. 

speaker 1  5:06  
Yeah. But I feel like a lot of people who don't go to church at our age, like, feel that. Like they can't do it because they were taught that they don't belong. 

speaker 2  5:20  
Yeah.

speaker 1  5:21  
And that they never will. But they do. And it's just hard to break that.

speaker 2  5:26  
Right. I've been into a bunch of different religious communities as well. And there are similar like anti-gay messages kind of in every community you go to, on some level. Like, my dad teaches at a very, very Catholic college. And so whenever I go there to like, take a class or I just want to see him or something. I've seen posters on the wall that are like, the real- the truth about the gender this day or something like that. It's like all of these, like, pastors, priests, who are like, trying to spread hatred everywhere, and it's horrible. I've been– a lot of my friends, I have friends of all sorts of different, like religious groups, and they've like talked about some of the stuff they believe that's like, I don't– I'm not homophobic, I just can't support you. 

speaker 1  6:19  
Yeah. 

speaker 2  6:20  
And like, I hate it when people say that, because not supporting someone who's trans or gay or queer, is homophobic. Like, that is the definition.

speaker 1  6:34  
Yeah, like, like, I think that's how a lot of my family feels. Like, not like my, like, close family, like, like, not like my parents, but like my grandparents. Like, um, like, my father's side, because I remember whenever I came out to my grandmother, who lives in East Texas, um, she was like, she's like, um, I feel like, it's just like a phase. And we'll, we'll read more into like the Bible, and we'll find Jesus for you. Like, like, she doesn't understand that I am learning more about myself and trying to express myself the best that I can. And she was just like, she was trying to like, shut it down. And, like, drown out my feelings. For something that were- was like her feelings.

speaker 2  7:28  
Right. I feel like that's a common theme that you see a lot with like kids who come out with unsupportive families which is like, they prioritize their feelings over their child's like identity. 

speaker 1  7:40  
Yeah.

music  7:40  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”]  

Narrator  7:51  
Thank you for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. This podcast is a production of kin•dom community. You can find out more about kin•dom community by going to kindomcommunity.org or by searching kin•dom community on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

Baylee  8:15  
Hi y'all, it's Baylee. I'm the Creative Director of kin•dom community.

Andy  8:21  
And I'm Andy, the Program Director of kin•dom community.

John  8:24  
I'm John, the executive director of kin•dom community.

Baylee  8:28  
We wanted to talk a little bit more about kin•dom camp and how you can get involved.

Andy  8:32  
kin•dom camp is an opportunity for LGBTQIA+ youth ages 12 to 17 to feel safe and free to show up as their full selves. Campers will have the chance to experience all the fun that camp has to offer in a week filled with affirmation community and celebration. This camp is intentionally created to be affirming space. It affirms all genders, sexualities, identities, and varieties of belief. The only thing we expect is a commitment to welcoming and celebrating everyone where they are as they are. 

Baylee  9:02  
And this isn't just any summer camp - we're talking rainbows and glitter everywhere. kin•dom camp will include plenty of traditional camp activities and recreation, plus some specialized programming to incorporate activities and conversations around mental health, yoga, embodiment, and LGBTQIA+ history and culture. Now more than ever, LGBTQ youth are in need of unconditional love and acceptance. kin•dom camp is a space for just that.

John  9:32  
We're always looking for fully affirming, welcoming and loving adults to help us make kin•dom camp a success. This will be a wonderful opportunity to connect with mentor and learn from our youth. But most importantly, we ask that you are ready to celebrate everyone where they are as they are.

Andy  9:50  
Both registration for campers and applications to be on camp staff are now open. You can find these links on our website, kindomcommunity.org/camp. If you have any questions you can't find the answers to you can email me at Andy@kindomcommunity.org.

Baylee  10:05  
Also, be sure to check us out on socials @kindomcommunity on Instagram and Facebook. We post all of our important announcements and fun camp moments so you'll want to follow along.

John  10:16  
Thanks for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. We are proud to be a safe space for these campers and we are even more proud of them for sharing their stories. We hope you'll keep gathering around the campfire with us as we celebrate all of the stories that make us this kin•dom community.

music  10:34  
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build”]  

Transcribed by https://otter.ai