music 0:00
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”]
Narrator 0:09
Thank you for tuning in to kin•dom campfire chats, a podcast of kin•dom community. This podcast features the voices of LGBTQIA+ persons, both youth participants and adult staff who attended kin•dom camp in Texas in the summer of 2023. We asked the camp participants to think of a question that they wish someone would ask them about their life journey with a friend and in their own words, the campers tell their stories of struggle, love, support, and a community found. We invite you to listen with an open mind and an open heart.
music 0:50
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "This is the place”]
speaker 1 0:56
Do you ever feel lonely and non queer spaces?
speaker 2 0:59
Yes, I feel like– well, kin•dom is a definitely a queer space. And I definitely feel like I actually, like what I want to be here and people support me and like, everyone around me supports me. But when I'm in non queer spaces, or just like regular summer camps, I feel like uhm you– I mean, a lot of the time, you can't tell who would support you. And it just feels really lonely a lot of the time because uhm either people, like, try to avoid you because they, uhm, you dress weird? I don't know. Or, like,
speaker 1 1:43
You're different.
speaker 2 1:44
You're just openly queer. And there's definitely a feeling of isolation. And like–
speaker 1 1:52
Not fitting in.
speaker 2 1:53
Yeah, not fitting in and not being wanted and feeling like a burden just for existing all the time. And I just feel like, uhm, like, people don't know what to do with you. They don't– there's, like also a lot of confusion, and people uh, not wanting to ask you questions. And so they just assume things, which is never a good idea, really. And I feel like just I don't know what else to say, uhm–
speaker 1 2:31
You feel alone?
speaker 2 2:32
Yeah, I feel alone. I–
speaker 1 2:35
What are some of those spaces? And how– or what are some of those spaces that you may feel not wanted?
speaker 2 2:43
Well, like I said, other summer camps, or just out in public trying to do something fun or go into a park. And I don't know, people just give me like the stink eye. Like–
Speaker 3 2:58
I have a question. Do you ever feel the need to try to fit in?
speaker 2 3:03
Um, I feel like I really used to, I– well that was before I really knew who I was and understand myself better. And I just had this feeling that I needed to fit in or yeah.
Speaker 4 3:18
So you talk about feeling alone, right and feeling scared to be visibly and openly queer? Um, has anyone confronted about you? Or have you ever been like,
speaker 2 3:29
Okay, so, like, um, it's mainly just like, kids going up to me in school and asking "are you gay" it's like that. And I just, I just kind of run away sometimes. Uhm like, [giggles} "ooh for real." Okay. I forgot I was talking about.
Speaker 4 3:54
Being confronted about–
speaker 2 3:55
Being confronted. I'm just like, well, okay what did you say, I forgot.
Speaker 3 4:01
Do you ever feel the need to fit in?
speaker 2 4:02
Uhm okay. Like I said, I, I really used to before I knew who I was. And I felt like everyone acts like this, so I should or that's what's right for me. And of course, everyone has something that's right for them. And that just wasn't right for me. I just really did not need to fit in and it just made me feel more alone, trying to be like other people. Or, specifically, non– specifically non queer people or like making up crushes on people. That's, I feel like that's a common experience. I've–
Speaker 4 4:36
Ugh, relatable.
speaker 2 4:39
Or like, trying to fit into a style that I don't like or trying to be like hyper feminine, and then just realizing that's not who I am. And I don't need to do that. And that just makes me feel so much worse.
Speaker 4 4:54
For the record. I think you have great style.
speaker 1 4:56
Yeah.
speaker 2 4:57
Oh thank you. And– Wait I'm so lost now. Okay. And I just, I have realized that I don't need to try to be like other people, because that's just not what's right for me. Okay. And then, I guess back to the question of 'have I ever been confronted?' Um, I mean, that's– that– that's not necessarily bad. Because also being confronted can mean like relating to someone. Like I–
Speaker 4 5:33
Like educating someone
speaker 2 5:34
Well, like educating people too, yeah, about what certain queer terms mean, or, or why you are the way you are, or things like that. And then also, if, like, another queer person comes up to you and asks you something like, 'are you queer, or?' I wouldn't do that. But I don't know. You can make a friend like that. And you wouldn't feel alone. But also, like I said, it could be negative.
Speaker 4 6:08
That's relatable. Yeah, I think– I think most people have, queer people - because we're so openly discriminated - have had an experience like that.
speaker 2 6:16
Yeah.
Speaker 4 6:18
And that sucks. That's why I think kin•dom is a good place for people to meet. Because, you know,
speaker 1 6:22
There is no discrimination.
Speaker 4 6:24
And you know, we have something in common with everyone.
speaker 2 6:26
I at school there's this is one kid who keeps asking, 'Are you part of pride' to every person they see. And it's really annoying, first of all, and then also when they asked me, and I said, 'um, maybe, yeah,' they're like 'eww!' And that was gross.
speaker 1 6:47
I mean, why ask a question to somebody if– that you know is going to say yes–
speaker 2 6:55
Yes. Or something like that
Speaker 3 6:57
Why ask the question and then be disgusted by and answer that you weren't expecting.
speaker 1 7:02
That you were expecting. That you– that, you knew.
speaker 2 7:08
And it's like, how could you not see that that is really wrong?
Speaker 4 7:13
Yeah.
speaker 2 7:14
And it's just, I feel like, um, some people just,
Speaker 3 7:19
It's not that they don't see it, it's that they don't care.
speaker 2 7:21
Yeah. Well, a lot of the time it is they don't see it. And a lot of the time, it is also that they don't care. But I feel like people sometimes don't have common sense.
Speaker 4 7:33
That's so true.
speaker 2 7:34
Exactly. And like, especially around queer people, because
Speaker 4 7:37
They just don't know how to act.
speaker 2 7:38
Sometimes I feel like I'm not even treated like a human being or like, I'm treated like a small child {speaker 4: that} because
Speaker 4 7:45
That's the point one of our other members made is that we feel– queer people often feel alienated–
speaker 2 7:51
Alienated, or, like, babied somehow sometimes.
Speaker 4 7:59
Yeah, like, you're just–
Speaker 3 8:00
We're talked down to
speaker 1 8:02
A hush-hush topic.
speaker 2 8:04
Yeah, talked down to– like
Speaker 4 8:04
It's taboo to talk about being queer
speaker 2 8:06
Or that people feel bad for us they're like, 'Awh, you're, you're gay? I feel so bad for you.' But that's not what I need to hear. I need to hear like 'you're gay. I support you fully.'
music 8:15
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build, let's build a place we can go”]
Narrator 8:26
thank you for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. This podcast is a production of kin•dom community. You can find out more about kin•dom community by going to kindomcommunity.org. Or by searching kin•dom community on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.
Baylee 8:51
Hi y'all, it's Baylee. I'm the Creative Director of kin•dom community.
Andy 8:56
And I'm Andy, the Program Director of kin•dom community.
John 8:59
I'm John, the executive director of kin•dom community.
Baylee 9:03
We wanted to talk a little bit more about kin•dom camp and how you can get involved.
Andy 9:08
kin•dom camp is an opportunity for LGBTQIA+ youth ages 12 to 17 to feel safe and free to show up as their full selves. Campers will have the chance to experience all the fun that camp has to offer in a week filled with affirmation community and celebration. This camp is intentionally created to be affirming space. It affirms all genders, sexualities, identities, and varieties of belief. The only thing we expect is a commitment to welcoming and celebrating everyone where they are as they are.
Baylee 9:37
And this isn't just any summer camp - we're talking rainbows and glitter everywhere. kin•dom camp will include plenty of traditional camp activities and recreation, plus some specialized programming to incorporate activities and conversations around mental health, yoga, embodiment, and LGBTQIA+ history and culture. Now more than ever, LGBTQ youth are in need of unconditional love and acceptance. kin•dom camp is a space for just that.
John 10:07
We're always looking for fully affirming, welcoming and loving adults to help us make kin•dom camp a success. This will be a wonderful opportunity to connect with mentor and learn from our youth. But most importantly, we ask that you are ready to celebrate everyone where they are, as they are.
Andy 10:25
Both registration for campers and applications to be on camp staff are now open. You can find these links on our website kindomcommunity.org/camp If you have any questions you can't find the answers to, you can email me at andy@kindomcommunity.org.
Baylee 10:40
Also, be sure to check us out on socials @kindomcommunity on Instagram and Facebook. We post all of our important announcements and fun camp moments so you'll want to follow along.
John 10:52
Thanks for listening to kin•dom campfire chats. We are proud to be a safe space for these campers and we are even more proud of them for sharing their stories. We hope you'll keep gathering around the campfire with us as we celebrate all of the stories that make us this kin•dom community.
music 11:10
[Andy strumming guitar & Baylee's voice singing: "Oh let's build”]
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
